Grief - When Will I Feel Better?
It all begins with an idea.
When we’re in the depths of grief, we can feel overwhelmed, unsteady, and rocked by deep emotion. It’s therefore understandable that one of the most common questions I get as a grief therapist is, “when will I feel better?” The answer can be unsatisfying because grief is not linear and there are no stages of grief (contrary to outdated “stages” espoused by Dr. Kubler-Ross). Rather, we each have a unique grief journey and while we ultimately learn to incorporate death and loss into a meaningful life, our grief never ends because our connection with our loved ones never ends. Having said all of this, people will feel “better” over time as they discover a balance between grieving their loss and living a fulfilling life.
The Importance of Continuing Bonds
It all begins with an idea.
The Continuing Bonds Theory tells us that staying connected with a loved one after death can be a healthy way to grieve. The most common experiences reflecting continuing bonds include: (1) dreams about our loved one; (2) feeling the presence of tour loved one; (3) experiencing profound coincidences; and (4) talking about or to our loved one. There are a number of ways we can connect with our loved ones including rituals and memorials, engaging in spiritual or religious beliefs, and through the use of physical objects that remind us of our loved.
