How to Support a Friend After a Suicide Loss (and the One Question Not to Ask)
"Did you see the signs?" is the question suicide loss survivors most wish no one had asked. Here is why well-meaning people ask it, what it does when it lands, and what to say instead, including how to repair it if you already asked.
Grieving at Work: What to Do When the Bereavement Leave Runs Out
Three days of bereavement leave and then you are expected to be a functioning professional again. The card is on your desk, the condolences have stopped, and nobody asks again while you are still months from the hardest part. Here is what actually helps, including what to say when someone asks.
Why Grief Makes People Disappear
The calls stop coming. The friend who promised to always be there has quietly gone quiet, and it happens months after the funeral, not during it. If you have assumed this says something about how you are grieving, the real explanation is far less personal.
The "How Are You?" Trap: Navigating the Social Squeeze
It looks like a simple question and it presents an impossible choice. The truth is too heavy and saying you are fine feels like a denial of your own pain. Here are three ways to answer the “how are you” question that protect your energy without requiring you to perform being okay.
The Hidden Sting of Silver Linings: Why Sympathy Can Fall Short in Grief
At least they are not suffering. At least you have your other children. These statements usually come from love and they still leave grieving people feeling more alone than before. The difference between sympathy and empathy explains why.
See My Grief
Some losses are not granted the same legitimacy as others: a miscarriage, an affair, a death by suicide, a coworker you were close to. When society decides your grief does not count, you are left to mourn in silence. That silence is what makes it so much harder.
The Challenge of the Uncomfortable Friend/Family Member
We live in a death averse society and one tragic consequence is that the people you counted on may vanish when you need them most. Since they are unlikely to figure it out on their own, here are four specific things you can tell them.